Grateful Little Heart Of Mine.

Since it’s still early, I decided to write a little post, listing down the many things I’m grateful to God for this week.

It’s been one heck of a week, I can tell you that! To provide some background for this Thing Which I’m Grateful For, I went for my hall’s Quintsical Productions audition. Now every hall in my school has a drama production, and for my hall, it’s a musical. However, this year is slightly different. 

It’s BIGGER, it’s BETTER, and it’s the 20TH ANNIVERSARY OF QUINTSICAL PRODUCTIONS!!! To be honest, I had no idea it was the 20th anniversary, I just really wanted to act again after such a long period of not acting. The thrill of being on stage, the indulgence in becoming another self, the surreal feeling of the play being your reality. 

Anyways, I dragged my roomie to audition with me, where we had to sing two songs, line read, and practice our pitch. It was not the best audition, to say the least. Singing is not my forte, so it was both a novel and nerve-wrecking experience. Nevertheless, we finished and left, feeling both satisfied and relieved that the worst was over. Until we figured we had to wait for them to contact us.

Fast forward to this week.

After coming to terms with the fact that they did not want me to act in the musical, I was ecstatically surprised to receive a text on Monday, asking me to go through some lines with them later that night. They were having a call-back for one of their characters. Due to previous engagements, I couldn’t make it and they kindly shifted it to Tuesday at 8pm. It was marvelously sweet of them, thus with anticipation I floated off to meet my senior, Tingz.

The purpose of that meeting was to purchase gifts and card-making materials for the surprise birthday celebration of three of my OG mates on Thursday night. Pioneered by me, Tingz and I took charge of the card-making and present-purchasing. It was fun, simply because it was a chance to shop (Ermahgerd shurpping) and take our mind of schoolwork. After a fruitful, though exhausting shopping day, we went back to hall exhausted.

Tuesday, D-day! Unfortunately, due to an overlook on my part, I had an interview for the HSS Club Welfare Sub-committee.Due to greater unfortunate events  (not realising we had to print out a form to submit, the printer at HSS failed to work, having to wait for Tingz to print all six forms from the Chinese library at who knows where), the interview started at… 8pm. Yes, just when my call-back was meant to start. By God’s grace, the hall people were nice enough to push the time back to 8:30pm! Who else would be awesome enough to push call-back timing time and again if not for His hand in the matter?

When it came to the interview, I got transferred to Biz Mag for an interview, of which I actually think sounds just as, if not slightly more, interesting! This year, the sub-comm gets more involved in decision-making and suggestion-raising, so that promises a year ahead of fun and excitement.

Rushing off for the interview, I managed to make it in time for the audition and, long story short, I got one of the two major female lead roles! What an amazing God I have! Here I was, trying to depend on myself, being completely faithless in my decisions, yet He still gave me what I wanted! What a loving Father. It really reminds me of Matthew 7:9 and Luke 11:11, where it says “Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?” and “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?” Ah my Father, my Provider! How sweet you are to me, even when I have failed…

Now Wednesday was spent rushing through my readings after Astro lecture, so that was a day that flew by.

Thursday, the birthday celebration. As the week progressed, the three-person birthday celebration became a one-person celebration. What with going for lecture, followed by a talk on the link between science and Literature(or rather, the debate?), rushing to get the cake, a personal stop to buy a gift for a friend’s birthday on Friday, then rushing back for lecture, changes in timing and a sudden appearance of the birthday girl, those 7 hours were a mess. Frazzled and flustered in both body and mind, added with some tension I was facing regarding a friend, as well as being down in mood, I decided not to attend Lifegroup.

Now, Wednesday during astro lecture, I spent some time talking with my Shepherd. She made me realise how much I had been compromising with regards to God and my walk with Him. While I felt guilty, I was also feeling exhausted, burdened, stressed out and conflicted. That decision to not go provided some relief, for I really could not imagine attending Lifegroup. I knew it would be a session wasted, for I would be distracted. I did not wish to face my spiritual family in such a condition, nor go out of obligation. I needed some time to myself, to slow things down, to go back to Him in silence. 

It’s been so draining this week, trying to juggle school work and other commitments. Yet, my God still gives me second chances, to come back into His arms when I’m ready to surrender it all to Him, to lay it down at the cross. I’m still learning, even after such a long time of knowing Him on a deeper level. But today, I shall stop, and listen. It will be a time for the silencing of myself, and hearing from Him. Even if no divine passages jump out at me, just knowing that I’m spending quality time getting to know Him more through His word will be sufficient. It’s been far too long that I’m away from Him. Too many promises broken, too many resolutions forgotten. Take me back to the start, where the fire was still burning and the focus was solely on you. Help me to put you at the centre again.

 

So yes, that was my week. Hopefully you guys had a wonderful week, regardless of what may have happened. Have a lovely weekend ahead, Aziel sends comfort and love your way!

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