Last night, or morning I should say, I dreamt of a movie theatre. Not a normal one, this was roughly the size of an auditorium, and right at the back, up two flights of steps, stood stall after stalls of food, overlooking the crowd watching the show. I can’t remember what the show was called, nor even what genre it was. All that stood out was a man with a girl. They were in love, I think.
Up those steps, I suddenly appeared at the top, I was suddenly there, out of the blue, to buy, to buy some food, perhaps. yes. I went to each stall, walking past them slowly walking past them yes. I walked past each one, one after the other and browsed slowly yes slowly. I decided to stop at one, with fried food or was it meatballs, no some corndogs maybe some cheese fries maybe chinese pancakes, my mother was there. Suddenly, she was next to me, talking and suggesting what I should eat.
Then it was a man, whom I knew I loved and whom I knew loved me and we were talking. Talking about food, about the queue that appeared though I was already telling the person what I wanted; thinking back now I was in the queue but also at the front with no one, no one no one no no one no… He was there, I was there with him, we were together and it was a moment of
It just was.
The place was dark, of course it’s a movie theatre, but it was dark, just lit enough to see the dim orange flight flickering over the food, casting a warm glow over the food, creating an illusion of crispness and generating such heat an external heat that wasn’t real that i wonder what it could truly mean. I wonder I think.
I awoke after looking at someone, saying something or was it someone saying it to another and I but the silent passerby the quiet listener the non-existence presence
Oh! I remember another, it was a room? Other women there, oh it’s flitting and oh it’s leaving. What room? It was… There were people, yes, a yellow-orange room, perhaps yes, it was there was a corridor or a walk-way but it was a room and people no yes yes. Argh forget it.
The phrase I woke and remembered the speech, the lecture even, you could call it that. I remembered it. I lay on my bed, with my eyes fixated on the ceiling on the wall in front, seeing it but it wasn’t there, the memory and the voice of those words pushing down on my sight and overwhelming it with the memory of my dream, the voice drowning out reality (is it, though?)
Scrambling to write it down, too late, I lost the full speech but here’s what’s left. It made perfect sense, it was so clear, I can’t believe I lost it, it’s not complete and it’s gone partially, incomplete, not perfect not there. He was there but the little boy was not there yet he had a presence part of me perhaps perhaps.
You look up into the sky because you believe the answer to your question can be found in the snowflakes.
You learnt to ride a bike because you believed you could ride off into the sky.
You grew a spruce and chopped it down because you couldn’t bear to chop down the willow.
You cut off the fingers of criminals and and offered it to animals instead of as a sacrifice because you wanted to teach them a lesson.
You’re tyrannical, you have such lofty, wistful dreams, and you expect to be treated humanely?
It was a dream, last night I had a dream. It was a dream of it was but a it was it is is it is a it is.