Who I was

Who I was was a hot-headed emotional mess who feel too fast and too hard, who didn’t know how to take no for an answer, who confronted and who needed to label everything.

Who I was was one who got angry too fast, guilty too quickly, then apologised too soon, got angry immediately after 5 seconds of no reply, or no return of apologies, and then allowed the cycle to repeat.

Who I was was a girl who didn’t understand boundaries. Who texted too often, too much, talking about too many things with very little substance and lacking any means of response. Who got angry too often at the lack of response.

Who I was was a person who confronted everyone and everything that did not meet my expectations, who shot things down if they were not up to my standards, preferences or level of comforts. I lost a lot of friends and respect that way.

Who I was was someone who needed a label on everything. Best friend, good friend, close friend, acquaintance, enemy, family, lover, fling, stranger, colleague. Who did not like to just Be with someone and enjoy their company every once a while. Who did not keep in constant contact, who let months fly by before the next ‘hi’, who hates talking on the phone and end up engaging in emotionally detached texts that added no meaning to the relationship, who met up once a blue moon and ended up talking about herself more than having a conversation. Who was selfish.

Who cared more about Her relationships, than her Relationships.

Who I was is someone whom I am ashamed of. Who I was is someone whom I am grateful for.

Who I was is who I Was.

Now, I am and will be, and will continue to change to become.

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