Guess what?

I did it again. I looked at your profile. I see pictures of you sitting close to her, and arms around her neck. I’m jealous.

It was such a rookie mistake, checking out his profile, but I couldn’t resist. Now the pain rising in my chest, squelching my heart into a puddle of shards is unmistakable.

I still feel for you. Or rather, my fantasy of you. The guy who would say, “I like you”, or, “Would you go out on a date with me”. How pathetic.

Even my fantasy is about having a normal date between two persons who mutually like each other. Sheesh.

Sorry, I’m rambling and ranting about something that happened Months ago. Guess the heart doesn’t want to heal yet. Neither will the guilt and worthlessness wash away.

Forgiveness is hard with personal judgement and condemnation.

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One thought on “Guess what?

  1. Jyrminn says:

    Joey, if only you knew how God sees you… Look up at the vast beautiful sky that expands across nations. He owns it and yet He wants your heart and pursues you. He’s so great and majestic yet He wants you and loves you more than you’ll ever know. How can you be worthless when you mean so much to Him.

    Like

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