I come from an ancestry of obligations. From the little I do know, I come from a long line of forced relations and broken people. On my mother’s side I have arranged marriages, child-making machines, obligatory marriages of going through the daily notions, lost love, monetary transactions, losing battles of insanity and health, fighting for control and everyone’s a slave. On my father’s side I have drugs and cigarettes and alcohol and clubs and bad decisions and shotgun weddings and love so strong but so fickle and masked obligations and lies and deceit and long distanced cousins that are still family and loansharks and debts and fear.
I come from an ancestry of obligations. Obligations to life, to love, to circumstances and futures, to past, to day-by-day-living, to never-lasting romances and ever-lasting delusions, to better tomorrows and traveling, no, wanderlust, and being trapped but allowing oneself to be caught in the endless cycle of sloughing through life in order for that brief lie that we are all free individuals within the confines of our mind.
I live a life of obligation, carrying on my ancestor’s blood and thoughts and dreams and wishes and hopes and past but future as well. I know not love, true love, for all around are obligations and false romances and marriages that last because it was a responsibility and a vow till death do them part and security and safety and even then you’ll never know but just give in to the notions of marriage and love and believe so deeply in love that changes and evolves into closing both eyes and acceptance and nonchalance and obligations to the future generations.
I am an obligation, for when I am part of the ancestry.