The psychologist said I had BPD so I took it to be factual. Read all the stuff and it seemed like I had it and to be honest, I’ve finally come to turns with it.
Cried in the shower today and had flashbacks to past emotional and physical abuse and hurts as a child by my parents. By my exes.
Went to Google and ended up reading about abandonment trauma. Found an article comparing it and bpd, and honestly it seems like I’m suffering more from abandonment trauma.
I don’t remember a lot of my childhood, for one. And one of my clearest memories is crying alone in the playroom, pulling the string of a musical duck telling myself my mom isn’t coming back everytime she went to throw the trash out.
All other memories are inferred from pictures or of me playing alone.
It makes more sense. I’m hoping I can talk to my counsellor and psychiatrist bout this. Cause then I wouldn’t need my medicine anymore?