Adult awakening

Drunken awakening

Realisation of self, desperate attempts to revive

Resuscitate

Rescue and control.

 

Spiral and sink,

Fogged and shattered,

Exploding incontinuities

Repugnant existence

 

Advise

Counsel

Recognition, realisation, repetition,

Confession to the self of

The slow descend into

Drifting out of control.

 

Back to a routine

To denial of patterns and comfort

Desperately hiding away to avoid

Burning more bridges,

Hurting while hurting

Defences up while loved ones

Loved hard in the wrong way.

 

Is anything but my preferred way

The wrong way

Or am I asserting control

By pushing everyone away.

 

Self esteem plunging

Self love dissipating

Self hate emboldening

Worthlessness strengthening.

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